This entry is long overdue. There are many irritating things I have been forced to put up with while taking the TTC, mostly related to etiquette.

Listen up folks, and spread the word. Cooperation will make our transit system a better experience for everyone. Here they are in random order.

1. Keep your music to yourself
There is a person every morning on the 53 Steeles East who must listen to Real McCoy’s Runaway, every morning. Over and over.

I would runaway too, just to get that fucking song out of my mind, but I don’t want to be late for work.

Mobile music devices are clearly for personal use. Let’s all keep it that way, and keep the music down. I loathe the sound of blasting music from people’s headphones, especially that static sound.

Yes, buses and trains can be very loud, but do your eardrums and other passengers a favour, and keep it down. If I can hear it, it’s too loud!

2. Cell phone irritants
Passengers do not want to know what you did last night, or what you’re having for dinner, or what your boyfriend thinks of you. Please keep your cell phone conversations to a minimum. And if you must, please keep a discrete conversation volume. If your caller can’t hear you because the bus is too loud, hang up and talk later. If your caller can’t hear you, it does not give you permission to speak louder.

3. Be courteous to bus operators
People do not understand how difficult a bus operator’s job actually is. Operators always have to be on full alert to:

• ensure all passengers are picked up and dropped off
• ensure the safety of passengers
• ensure the safety of other road users (mind you many are rageful, having to be trailed by a bus)
• ensure people pay their fare
• …all while driving a large bus

Be nice to the operator, and ensure a smoother and more pleasant ride for everyone. Yes, I understand some operators need to be more “customer-service” minded, but nonetheless, respect them.
Some points to note:

• Don’t attack them for forgetting open the rear doors; they’re human just like you and me
• Don’t make vulgar hand gestures if the bus can’t stop at your stop for one reason for another. There is obviously a good reason why he/she cannot pick you up or drop you off (i.e. buses along express routes, bus too full)

4. Board buses and enter escalators in an orderly fashion
I understand that we all need to get to our desired destinations quickly, but please do not push and shove when boarding the bus. Pushing and shoving will only hinder the flow of passengers boarding. Aside from that, using physical force is just not cool. It’s quite sad that people give up their civility, just to get a seat on the bus.

The weekday AM and PM peak periods are usually the times when seats on the bus are limited. If you’re at a bus terminal and you’re really eager to get a seat on the bus, just be rest assured that another bus is coming shortly.

This goes for entering escalators too. We often encounter a big bottleneck at the base of the escalator after leaving a subway train. Be courteous and do not push and shove. There are many occaisions where people have fallen from all the pushing and shoving. I certainly wouldn’t like to be stepped on, and I’m sure neither do you.

5. Don’t leave newspapers on the train/bus
I know some passengers want to preserve the environment and be courteous by leaving newspapers on the train/bus for other passengers to peruse.

Don’t.

This sounds bizarre from the pseudo tree-hugger. Do not leave your Metro’s, 24 Hours’, Dose’s on trains and buses. As you might notice, newspapers that remain on the train/bus just inevitably rest on the train/bus floor. Since no one likes to read stepped-on newspaper, that’s where the newsaper rests for the remainder of the day.

Also, newspapers that are found cleanly on transit seats are less likely to be disposed/recycled by “second hand” readers later in the day. You can ask yourself if my statement is true. Thus, break the chain, and bring your newspapers with you when you leave the train/bus.

The fact is, newspapers lingering on the train/bus floor causes safety concerns for subway passengers.

You can still exercise your Captain Planet spirit by placing your newspapers in the new recycling receptacles or in Eucan advertising can’s citywide.

6. Mind your backpack
Although it sounds counter-intuitive, never leave your backpack on your back. In crowded trains and buses, place your backpack on your lap when sitting, or on the floor in front of you when standing. This creates a lot more room for passengers, especially during rush hours and better prevents theft. Most importantly, it ensures passengers don’t get inadvertently knocked out as you, or the bus, move.

7. Keep for feet to the floor
Let’s be courteous and polite Torontonians, don’t put for feet up to the other seats. Seats are for sitting. I personally like my ass clean and free of salt stains, thanks.

8. Know your express/rocket routes
Express routes (usually designated with the route suffix “E”) usually operate along the same routing as the regular routes but with a reduced number of stops. They have been implemented so as to provide faster trips to those living in the further stretches of bus routes. Do not attack the bus operator for not allowing you to get off [See “Be courteous to bus operators”]. This firmly applies even when the bus has stopped for red lights or congestion.

Express routes are implemented for a logical reason and allowing passengers to get off at non-designated stops essentially defeats the purpose of running them. If you take an express bus, but don’t know which stops the bus stops at, simply ask the operator, or check out the route map on most TTC bus stop poles. A yellow circle with the letter “E” indicates where the stops on the route where it will service. See 39 Finch East, 191 Scarborough Centre Rocket, or 192 Highway 27 Rocket, for example.

9. Mind the subway doors
Do not block the subway doors. I have made a comment about this before.

Don’t do it.

It’s not safe and lacks common sense to stand right where people are eagerly trying to enter the train. If you stand at the doorway, it only causes the loading and unloading process to take longer, and making the trip longer for yourself and others.

If you happen to be standing at the doorway when the train is pulled into a station, either move further into the train or temporarily step out of the train and onto the platform’s edge to allow ample room for passengers to exit the train.

Do not charge subway doors. The chimes is not a signal for people to sprint into the train. Subway trains come at least every 5 minutes. Getting squeezed by the subways doors incoveniences the passengers already on board, and makes you look like an idiot.

Don’t do it.

10. Walk Left, Stand Right
When using escalators, walk left, stand right. It’s very easy: walk left, stand right.

Walk left, stand right. Altogether now: walk left, stand right.

I’m in the cheering mode.