summer is now over. yes. time to wash those eyes and face reality. good bye carefree-ness, goodbye staying up; hello responsibility, hello real world. life sucks ass.

so yes. today was Day One at PIR. I managed to get up at 7:00 and boarded the 7:40 Steeles Express to Finch. The entire ride, I didn’t even get an seat opportunity. I got to work sharply at 9:00; that’s an-hour-twenty. That really sucks ass. I dispise living in Markham for this reason— probably the only reason— but it’s big.

There were 5 other co-ops working as well, however, none of the five work for my department. So again, I’m the sole co-op lonely warrior. On the bright note, my interviewer asked me which branch I wanted to work for back in June, and thankfully, i found out today that i got a placement in the strategic iniatives branch— which essentially deals with public transit. so that i’m happy.

i was extremely anxious about working here. i don’t know why. actually, i think i know why:

1. male dominated workplace
for some reason, i’m intimidated by powerful men. yes, this may sound surprising and weird to you. but yes, i’m afraid of men of authority. and no i don’t mean kinky authority like cops and firefighters; that, i obviously don’t mind. ;) all kidding aside, yes i find my seniors (all male) really intimidating. i was so scared and nervous. let me lead the dialogue for you:

Me: “Hi, I’m Matthew Lee the new coop student”
Boss: “Al XXXXXXXX, nice to meet you”
Me: “Nice to meet you too, Matthew”
[In my head: OH MY GOD. YOU ARE RETARDED]
Me: “Wait, that’s my name”
[Giggles]

Talk about bad impression. he looks a bit like Donald Trump. and my other boss kinda looks like Ted the Food and Wine Connoisseur from Queer Eye.

2. Policy Work
I’m afraid of doing policy work. You know when you write essays at school, you just kinda don’t really care, just get all the facts and do a half-assed job. but now the pressures on. i cannot screw up. not to mention, there’s no one to blame but myself. as bad as it sounds, i really really really don’t wanna be accountable for anything. i’m just not confident enough to do policy work. not yet at least. AHHH!

3. group introversion
I’ve never heard such silence in an office in my life. it is literally library. heck, it’s worse. no peep, no talking, no music, no laughter. dead silence. corpses would enjoy the office, it’s nice a peaceful. and my cubicle tucked away in the corner doesn’t help with relieving group introversion.

4. two bosses
again, i have two bosses. what’s with people and making people report to two bosses? it boggles my mind. just in the afternoon, i received two assignments from the two bosses. i’m starting to already freak up. they don’t talk much (see group introversion), and i’m afraid they’re both going to come at me with work, having no clue what the other has assigned. please let me be just overreacting :S.

on the brighter note, our department has a new intern that started today as well. she’s a sweet girl: a graduate from WLU. she’d definitely the one i talk to most.

tho i can see how this term is going to suck. too much time wasted on commuting, long 9 to 5 hours. just 12 hours is spend commuting and working. that’s half of the day. we have yet to include sleeping time. someone find me a free place to live in Toronto! PLEASE! and aid my misery!

is this how full time people live? if so, dear lord, please don’t let that time come. by the time that i’m home, i’m just so exhausted to care about anything. i just sit there on the couch or my computer chair and just sit, sit, sit; just like my father. seriously, being at school is where it’s at; despite my continuous rants.

that’s all for now. it’s 11:02, it’s time to shower and get ready for bed. oh my gawd, i have no life. ack!