— Chapters Life, NYE 2004 pictures updated

UPDATE:
omg, what a shitty day, i feel like crap— feel like puking. it was my upstairs roommates last night in Waterloo so we decided to make a night of it— and now it’s sooo errrily quiet— man, i kinda miss their loudness— i miss them… :( anyway, we stupidly started drinking during the leafs game last night and went all night. yikes. i was like ‘whatever, its just one night of drunkenness and i’ll be fine’… but anyways.. i’ve been holding back my puke and finally i’m feeling better after gallons of water. next topic…

so yes, my landlord wants to sell the house— i don’t see why, because he gets a hella lotta dough from ripping off innocent university students like myself. anyways, they hired a real estate agent to deal with it all. this guy is totally funny. he’s so damn giddy and cheery that it’s really really irritating.

he visited us last week, the first thing he says when he comes in the house is “are you guys PUMPED to sell a house? i’m so pumped, so pumped! are *you* guys pumped?” anyways, there’s been lotsa people looking at the house, but no buyers (obviously) who would wanna buy that crap! anyways, he nice and phones us when he knows someone is taking a loook at the place. he always acknowledges himself as “Mike the realtor”— every single time. Either he’s on the phone, in person, in his emails. it’s become this popular expression in the house, I’m “Matt the gayass”.

MY SITUATION
question for everyone— I have a small dilemma. okay. I have a crush on someone— I know, so ‘junior high’. LOL. Anyways, a friend of mine, “Joe”, has a this friend— “Jay” let’s say. Anyways, Jay doesn’t know me and I don’t really know Jay— all i know is my physical attraction. I’m not sure how Jay is like but I’d really like to know more. I’m sure you guys have encountered this.

I’m in this situation like where I’m like at a slutty bar— I find someone attractive, I want to say hi, but I’m afraid. I donno, i’m not exactly afraid because of being rejected—but I completely dread doing ‘the approach’, the act of getting over there, and say someone appropriate. Obviously, i’m not stupid enough to give a lousy pick-up line and come off as cocky— nor to I wanna come off as a shy needy loser. I’m okay with the rejection— I understand I don’t not rock everyone’s boat— that’s cool— not to mention, I’m just purely used to the rejection. *tears*

Okay, back to the situation— I’m not too close to Joe— the friend that we (Jay and I) mutually know. Because we aren’t all that close, I’m afraid to let my friend know I’m interested in Jay— too much complications and I really don’t wanna get people involved in my “immature subject matter”. but i did manage to get Jay’s friendster. so, happily, i have a line of communication— even tho it is a really bad way— but it’s something.

Without a doubt, I will tell Jay I’m interested and that I’d like to get to know him better. People keep telling me to “seize an opportunity”— because you’ll regret it if you don’t. Anyway, I’m unsure what kind of approach I wanna take and how I’m going to say it. It’s not like I’m going to say “hey jay, YOU’RE HOT, take me!” nor am I going to sound like this needy, desperate guy — tho actually i am— very very desperate :D lol. So there’s my problem— I don’t know how to communicate my interest. This is especially tough because it *is* text-based— and i’m completely sober— there’s no excuse to look like a fool. I don’t know how to find that balance— in other words— be confident without being cocky, being direct without sounding desperate, and be easygoing without being too casual.

I think i’m overthinking this issue— yes, I always complicate things.. ARGHH!! Your assistance is greatly appreciated— tho I’m not sure if its one of those “assistable” matters— just thought i’d share.

PS: if this entry disappears, you know why— HAHA. will only be temporary